Shoud I?

Okay, fine. I've been thinking about typing this thing because I wonder if some of my classmates read this blog of mine. I've been rationally thinking to share this thing, but the fact that they might see this would scare the shit out of me.


Should I continue this?


Well, I'm just nervous. I'm nervous that they would think I've been screwing them for long but, I just can't take every single day of my life like this. I'm nervous that they would hate me because I have't told anything about it. Aish, why am I posting this again?


Okay, I should continue this. I hope that they'll just respect this thought of mine.


It's been already seven months since the start of school year but I feel so distant with my classmates.


It's just too hard to open it up to all of them, knowing the fact that they all have different ways of coping up, accepting the fact, and responding to it. I've been feeling left out for seven months, and I haven't mentioned anything (well I mentioned this to my best friends at least) to them. My mom tells me that I looked left out with them. I just tell her that I'm not into galas and such but I really feel left out.


I once again feel what had happened to my second year life. The feeling of loneliness, sadness, and silence all mixed into one. But one thing about this that made me love my second year classmates more is the fact that they accept me. I wonder if my classmates today accept me for who I am.


I don't like (although it's better if I say 'hate') my classmates to the fact that I exclude myself from them. I don't like when they're in groups, I mean when they're in their corresponding barkadas. I don't like some of my classmates because they only choose the persons they want to mingle. I don't like some of my classmates because they only get closer to me if they need something from me. I don't like some of my classmates for leaving me hanging, and for blaming me the shit that I haven't really done I really don't have any idea. I wonder if they really like me as my classmate, or just suffering from my presence and waiting for me to be out of the gang.


Sometimes, I think to myself that I should change my elective next year. This elective was the source of everything. If I would have chose another one, I wouldn't be like this. I would be with the ones close to me, I would be with my crush (my close friends and crush are classmates). But what the hell, I chose this path. I can't do anything about it.


Maybe I should just wait for 3 months longer. It won't be hard... I wish.


Off to study the Revolutionary Period. See you around!

Matter of Life and Death plus some Things Unexpected

Hi! I don't know why the hell am I typing another one. But okay, I'll just share something.


It was already like 5 in the afternoon when my nanny shouted from downstairs that there was fire. At first, I was like "What? Fire?" then I heard some neighbors shouting and then realized there was really a fire near our house (Thank God our house wasn't affected by the fire.). So everyone practically panicked. I shut down the desktop as soon as I can then went down to the first floor then called my mom, reporting what happened.


So yeah, we were just outside our house to check if the fire was getting near our home then our neighbors were getting like asdfghjkl so we kind of panicked then picked up some clothes and went to the church where in my mom was already waiting for us. And to make it kind of unpleasing, I brought my XOXO Kiss&Hug Repackage Album (Both in Korea & Chinese) into my bag with some of my clothes. I realized now that what the hell, why did I bring my album on the first place? But it was just too special for me. Anyway, let's move on.


Few minutes after leaving the house, we met my mom in the church. Mom gave some instructions to my nanny then my nanny went back home to update us. We went inside the church to pray for the safety of our house and our neighbors' houses. After praying, we went to 7-Eleven for me to eat my dinner (I haven't eaten my dinner yet when my nanny called.). I ate some noodles until I noticed some of my classmates were passing by. My reaction? I was like "Omg, what the hell are they doing here?" And they actually saw me in my house outfit, not the best thing I can wear in times of emergency. I was so shocked but then recovered. Good thing mom did not ask much.


So yeah, the fire's out already and I'm also at home as well. But my mom's kind of preparing again because there is some smoke outside, meaning we're still not safe at the moment.


I hope this won't happen again.


Off to do homeworks!

First -- Urm, Yeah. -- Blog

Fine, it's already a few minutes before 11 in the evening and I am still wasting my precious time for writing some shiznip instead of sleeping. I don't know, I just came across and old crush's blog and tried to click the B button somewhere on the top. And luckily (or maybe not), it lead me to create this blog which I even don't know if I could use this for something.

Well anyway, what can I practically say? Something about me? Or about something recent that came in to my life?

Okay fine, I'll just share what I was reading the whole evening. I was reading the last book Diary Ng Panget by HaveYouSeenThisGirl. Well, what can I say about the book? You won't get it not until you read the first three books of the series. And yeah, I just realized something. The language of the book is Filipino so only Filipinos could understand the book. Well anyway, I'll just tell something that made me quite frustrated with the book.

This is a spoiler. You may skip this part or not.

Okay, here we go. The ending of the last chapter was a happy ending. Yup, it was. Eya and Cross (lead characters) we're already together. So were Chad and Lory, and Ian and Diandra. When you start reading the Epilogue, I don't know what to say. I practically got hysteric about the Epilogue. Why? Because everything was only her imagination! Okay, I already spoiled the ending itself (I know, I look so mean.). Yup, it was only a fragment of imagination. Well at least not until everything starts again (I hope so!). So there! I got quite frustrated because the story was freaking good and then here comes the ending and you'll read the part that it was only her imagination! How would you feel? (Okay, I'm going hysteric again.)

But then I realized another thing. I spoiled the ending yet I never told the synopsis. Fudge, I can't remember the whole thing. All I can say is that Eya's an ugly girl and Cross is a snobbish man. And it took time before they fell in love with each other (Won't spoil.).

And then I thought about EXO attending MAMA 2013. It was already confirmed by Mnet itself, with two corresponding videos for it (One for the whole group minus Lay, and another for Sehun, Kai, and Luhan). What's debating in my mind is that there is this unspoken rule that states "If an artist attends the MAMA, that artist won a certain prize." I thought that EXO might win the Album of the Year Award, since they sold 900,000 copies of their first album, XOXO - Kiss&Hug, plus a repackage. But still, I'm quite nervous because there's a low possibility that EXO will win the Artist of the Year Award. Okay, I'll be honest. I want EXO to win those Daesangs. EXO is already leading in the Song of the Year nominees. And EXO has a very high chance that they will win the Album of the Year Award. In short, I just want them to win. Any award, as long as they win. I also wish the same for my other two favorite K-pop Groups, Girls' Generation and SHINee.

Oh well, that's enough for the night. It's getting late and my mom would scold me bigtime if she sees me awake at this time.

Good night! x